


Show Me Love

by Writingsinbin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Incest, a little bit of supercorp, rated E for content and possible smut in the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-08 22:19:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12263193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writingsinbin/pseuds/Writingsinbin
Summary: Lena figures out why Lillian has never been able to love her like a real daughter.This fic started out as just a one-shot, but it turned into something else. You'll learn more about Lillian, Lena's biological mother, and Lionel.





	1. Realization

“We need you two to work together to figure this out.” Alex says, looking at the two Luthor women in front of her. “It’s our last chance to defeat the Daxamite. Can we count on you?”

Lena could feel Alex’s gaze on her; she knew it would be up to her to foresee everything her mother could try to pull on them, and she knew this was her chance to prove herself to Alex and the DEO. But before she knew it, her mother was trying to walk away.

Her hand shot out faster than she thought she could move, grabbing her mother’s arm, and pulling her close. “We can do this together, right, Mother?” Lena asked through gritted teeth; livid green eyes searching indifferent blue ones.

Lillian’s breath had hitched when Lena pulled her closer, and the closeness between them didn’t help. Lillian had never seen her daughter quite as angry or determined before, and the look in her eyes… it reminded Lillian of Lena’s biological mom, the woman Lionel had stolen from her; the woman she had lost before she could declare her love to.

Lena noticed the shift in her mother’s gaze, she saw how her eyes softening as she seemingly thought of something, and then Lena saw it; the flicker of her eyes as they momentarily dropped to Lena’s lips.

Her heart-rate spiked, and Lena’s stomach churned. She knew what that kind of look meant, and she couldn’t believe Lillian was looking at her like that. Panic set at the pit of her stomach, but before she could dwell on it, Lillian spoke, yanking her arm back, “All I want is to rid our planet of these aliens,” Lillian said in her normal, detached tone. “I’ll play along until they are gone, Agent Danvers.”

Alex, who had been oblivious to what transpired between the women in front of her, simply nodded. “Supergirl will keep the queen occupied, work as fast as you can.” And with that, Alex left L-Corp, leaving Lena alone with her mother.

To Lena, it felt like a lifetime, but less than a day later the Daxamite had fled Earth. With shaky hands, Lena poured herself a glass of whiskey and all but sank onto her couch.

“I knew you could do it, Lena.” Lillian said briskly; pacing around the office, hands in the pockets of her trench coat.

That made Lena scoff, “What? No comparison to my dear brother? No rebuttal about how Lex could have done it in half the time? Or how he would have let you keep the controller?”

Lillian sighed, watching her daughter down the liquid in her glass before getting up to pour herself more. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to believe I love you, Lena.” Lillian said, turning around to follow Lena’s movements with her eyes. “…In my own way.”

Lena thanked god she had her back turned to Lillian, because her mother’s last sentence made her shudder. Downing a second dose of whiskey, Lena poured herself another dose. “You don’t know why???” She spat the words, turning around to face her mother. “Oh, maybe it’s because you never showed any signs of actually caring about me; maybe it’s the fact that you are always comparing me to Lex, and making sure I never forget I’m not really your daughter–” ‘Oh…’ Lena thought as soon as the words left her mouth, 'Now…it makes sense…’

Lillian shook her head, and pulled out a burner phone from her pocket. “Everything I’ve done since Lex was taken away from us has been to protect us, Lena. I hope one day you’ll see that.“ Lillian stepped closer to Lena, and offered her the phone. "There’s a number programmed in here. Call or text if you need me.”

Lena hesitated, looking into Lillian’s eyes to search them for any kind of deceit. Slowly, she reached up, and accepted the phone. “Where are you going?” Her voice sounded softer than she would have liked it to; a good part of her still wished she could have her mother’s love, the right kind of love.

The smile that tugged at the corner of Lillian’s lips almost looked genuine. “I can’t tell you that, can I?” Just then, a helicopter descended right beside Lena’s balcony. “And that’s my ride.” Lillian smirked, walking toward the balcony. “Call me when you’re ready to join the right side of this war, Lena. It would make me proud to have you by my side.”

Deep inside Lena’s heart, she ached for her mother’s approval, but Lena is better than that; she would never join Lillian’s crusade, she knows it’s the wrong thing to do.

Sighing, Lena watched Lillian fleeing before the DEO could try to arrest her again. Grabbing her regular cellphone, Lena clicked on Kara’s name. “Kara? Can you get me in touch with your sister and Supergirl?”

That same night, Alex and Supergirl paid Lena a visit at L-Corp.

Lena noticed how Supergirl’s eyes seemed red, like she had been crying, but she thought it would be polite to pretend she didn’t notice anything. Her attention was caught when Alex asked, “Alright, Lena, why did you ask us to come here?”

Nursing the drink in her hand–the third that evening, sixth one of the day–Lena said without looking up, “I think I can lure my mother back here in a few days.”

“Lena, that’s… that’d be–” Kara started enthusiastically, but she was stopped by Alex.

“How?”

Lena slowly lifted her gaze, choosing to focus on Alex; she couldn’t look into Supergirl righteous eyes. “She gave me this phone,” she explained, placing the burner phone on her desk, “And she asked me to call her when I was ready to join the 'right side’ of the war against aliens.”

Alex eyed her suspiciously, “Look, I’m not totally convinced you’re good–” Lena scoffed at that, shaking her head. “But after what you did today, I’m much closer to believing it. Besides, Supergirl trusts you, so I doubt your mother would blindly take your word for it, especially after what you pulled with the Medusa virus.”

At Alex’s comment about Supergirl, Lena couldn’t help but chance a glance at the hero, and mirror the smile she saw. But it only lasted a second, before she remembered what her plan was. “I’m sure I can convince her to come here.”

“How? What’s your plan, Lena?” Alex asked exasperatedly.

“Something came to my attention when Lillian was here…” It was all Lena managed to say.

“Lena…” Kara’s voice was pleading; she could tell there was something troubling her friend.

“I’m sorry, Supergirl, Alex,” Lena met the agent’s eye again, “I can’t tell you what it is. It’s a private family matter, there’s nothing to do with Supergirl or any other alien.”

“Then how do you know she’ll care enough to come? I’m sorry, Ms. Luthor, but you don’t have the closest relationship with your mother.” Alex said, starting to lose her patience.

Lena winced at Alex’s words, making Supergirl slap the agent’s arm in reprimand. “Trust me, Agent Danvers… she will come. Can I trust that when I signal you, you’ll be there to take her away?” Lena asked, sounding beyond tired.

Before Alex could say anything, Kara spoke up, “I’ll be there, Ms. Luthor.”

Alex sighed heavily at her sister. “I can’t be there. Your mother is human, she’s not my jurisdiction, but I’ll arrange something with Detective Sawyer.”

Lena sighed in relief.

“How are you going to signal us?” Kara asked, arms crossing over her chest.

Getting up, and going over to her safe, Lena crouched down to open it. “I heard rumors that Jimmy Olsen has a watch with a sonic pitch that only Superman can hear.” She explained, grabbing a beautiful watch from the safe before closing it again, and standing up to show it to the hero. “I created one for myself since I can’t actually call you, Supergirl. Do you mind if I test it?”

Kara grinned, and nodded, making Alex roll her eyes.

With a thankful smile, Lena pressed the button on the side of the watch, and while Alex looked unaffected, Kara’s smile only grew bigger. “I hear it loud and clear, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena pressed the button again, putting a stop to the noise. “Great.” Turning her attention back to Alex, she said, “Please, let me know when you’ve set things up with detective Sawyer, because once I call Lillian, she might show up at any moment.”

Alex nodded, “Will do, Ms. Luthor. Is that all?”

At Lena’s nod, Alex turned around to leave. Supergirl walked over to her friend, and gently squeezed her arm, “Thank you for doing this, Lena. And you know, you can always use that watch, I’m only a call away.”

With a tired smile, Lena nodded. “Thank you, Supergirl.”


	2. Chapter 2

It took a couple of days for Alex and Maggie to concoct a plan; a couple of undercover police officers would be around L-Corp’s entrance, while other agents would be on the surrounding roofs, covering all ways Lillian could get into the building. As soon as the agents on the roof confirmed Lillian was inside the office, the undercover officers would go up, and wait for Lena’s signal right outside her office.

Alex and Maggie had agreed to not listen in to their conversation at Lena’s insistence; even Supergirl had sworn she would not use her super-hearing.

When the sun set, Lena took a deep breath, and flipped open the burner phone, dialing the only number programmed into it.

“Lena?” Lillian seemed surprised to hear from her daughter so soon; if she were being honest, she hadn’t expected to hear from her at all.

“Yes, mother, it’s me.” Lena said barely above a whisper.

Silence settled between them; Lillian waiting for Lena to say what she wanted, while Lena tried to gather enough courage to say what she had to say.

“I need you to come back.” Lena finally said, trying to sound demanding.

“And why would I do that? Just so you can have me arrested?” Even without seeing her mother, Lena could perfectly picture the annoyed look on her face just by the tone of her voice; a tone Lena had come to hate over the years, because it meant she had disappointed Lillian once more.

“Because…” Lena trailed off, swallowing hard.

“Use your words, darling.” Lillian sighed, and Lena could practically hear her eye roll.

“Because I saw the way you looked at me the last time you were here.” Lena managed to say without stuttering. ‘It’s now or never’, she thought, and conjuring all her courage, she said, “And I think you owe me an explanation.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lillian said, but Lena could hear the slight tremble in her mother’s voice.

“I think you do…” Lena’s tone was reduced to a whisper once more. “I finally understand why you made sure I didn’t feel like your daughter.”

“Because you’re not.” Lillian spat back without missing a beat.

Sighing sadly, and fighting the urge to cry, Lena stilled herself to say what she needed, “…Mom…please…” She leaned forward, resting her head on her free hand; tears running down her cheeks freely. “…I need you here.”

All Lillian’s instincts screamed for her not to go, it smelled like a trap, and she knew it, but what if… What if Lena was being truthful? What if she had truly figured it all out? “I’ll… I’ll be there as soon as I can, darling.”

“At L-Corp, please.” Lena sighed, drying her tears.

“All right.”

Hanging up, Lena grabbed her personal cellphone and typed a message to Alex, saying their plan was a go.

It took another couple of days, Lena’s nerves getting the best of her each night, making it impossible for her to sleep. On the third evening, Lena was exhausted, and all she wanted was to get this charade over with.

“You look tired, darling.” Lillian’s voice made Lena snap her head up, seeing her mother standing in the middle of her office.

“Lillian Luthor is here.” One of the police officers on the roof across from L-Corp said into her comm.

Immediately, Supergirl appeared by her side. Kara kept true to her word, she didn’t try to listen in to Lena’s conversation, but she kept an eye on her while listening to Maggie’s communication instead.

“Team Alpha, move into the waiting room.” Kara heard Maggie saying. “Remember, not a sound. We don’t want to tip Lillian off.”

“Copy that detective. We’re moving in.”

“Can you blame me?” Lena said in reply to her mother’s remark.

Lillian had the decency to avert her eyes from Lena, and she paced around a little before dropping her purse by the chair opposite to Lena, and taking a seat. She thought the desk between them was enough of a barrier to make both of them feel safe enough. “I guess not.” Lillian finally said, tilting her chin up, as if she was trying to convince herself she had nothing to be ashamed of.

Lena just stared at her mother, unable to move; a million thoughts crossing her mind. “When?” she heard herself asking, and it seemed like it took a second for her mind to actually catch up to what she wanted to ask. “When did you first realize you…felt this way about me?” Lena couldn’t look at Lillian, and that stung Lillian more than if she had been slapped in the face. “Was that– was that why you were so awful to me when I was a kid?” There was no way to disguise the disgust she felt at that moment.

“No!” Lillian denied promptly. “And I wasn’t awful to you…not in my eyes.” She said, searching her memories to try to find a moment she could consider bad from Lena’s point of view; but to Lillian she had been the best mother she could be under the circumstances.

“You tried to isolate me!” Lena’s voice was cold; colder than Lillian had ever heard, and part of her actually felt proud– 'A true Luthor’, she thought. “You made sure I felt like I didn’t belong!”

“You had your father’s affection, Lex’s–” Lillian rebutted. “I simply couldn’t look at you without–” Lillian’s gaze fell to her own hands. “Without seeing your mother.”

“Was your pride really that wounded that you had to take it out on a child?” Lena accused; eyes narrowing dangerously at the woman in front of her.

“After what your father did to me??? I couldn’t, Lena! You have to understand, I–” Lillian sounded almost desperate; it sounded like she was about to spill a secret, and that caught Lena’s attention.

“You what, Lillian?” Lena hissed.

Hurt flashed in Lillian’s eyes. “You never call me by my name…” she said lowly. “Even when you’re angry at me…”

“Well, I’m sorry, in light of recent events, I don’t feel comfortable calling you mother.” Lena replied coldly.

Lillian discreetly reached up to dry the corner of her eyes with her pinky fingers, and Lena felt a weird sort of satisfaction at the sight.

“Your biological mother…” Lillian started shakily. “She was the only person I ever truly loved… And your father…he knew that, but he could never let me be happy, he could never tolerate the thought of a scandal: 'Lionel Luthor cheated on with a woman’, 'Marriage, the one enterprise Lionel Luthor couldn’t excel in’.” Lillian laughed bitterly. “He wouldn’t have it, so he seduced your mother before I could even act on my feelings… Alana had no idea I loved her, she was my friend, a colleague at the hospital I volunteered at.”

That was all new information to Lena, she knew very little about her real mom, so she kept quiet, letting Lillian get everything out of her chest.

“And one day she tells me all excited, 'Lillian, I met the perfect man! He’s married, but he says he’s not happy and he’s going to divorce her soon.’ Your mother was so innocent, Lena…that’s what I loved most about her. She believed everything your father fed her, and slowly, with all the clues he gave her, and that she, in turn, confided in me, I figured out she was sleeping with your father. Lionel wanted me to know, you see?” Lillian laughed bitterly.

“If you hated him, why do you love Lex so much?? Isn’t he more similar to Lionel than I am??” Lena asked confusedly.

“That’s true, but don’t you see?” Lillian had a contorted smile on her lips. “I needed Lex to love me more, and to be honest, Lionel made that easy to happen. Since your brother was very little, Lionel saw him as competition, he knew Lex would be smarter than him so he tried to shoot him down at every opportunity he had. But Lex is a part of me, Lena, I had to protect him, I had to make sure he knew he was loved.”

“And to hell with me, right?” Lena scoffed, getting up to pour herself a drink, not bothering to offer her mother anything.

“You had Lionel.” Lillian sighed. “He might not have loved your mother, but he loved the fact that you weren’t mine, and he made sure to remind me of that whenever possible. He had bested me, you see? He couldn’t divorce me, he couldn’t be fully happy, and so he wouldn’t let me be happy either.” Lillian’s gaze seemed distant; her jaw clenching at whatever she was seeing in her mind. “I… I’m pretty sure he made–” Lillian’s eyes snapped at Lena, looking at her wondering if she should say it.

“What are you pretty sure of?” Lena asked, bringing the bottle of whiskey back to her desk; something told her she would need all the alcohol she could get her hands on.

Lillian watched Lena closely, “I’m pretty sure Lionel was responsible for your mother’s death.”

“You’re lying!” Lena gripped her glass so tightly, Kara, all the way from the other roof, was afraid she was going to break it.

“Your mother and I had reconnected. I would visit her from time to time at the hospital, and Lionel was furious. He couldn’t bear the idea of us getting close. The next thing I knew Lionel was telling me how Alana was dead and he wanted to adopt you. I told him I didn’t want you, because I knew bringing you in would destroy you; Alana’s child deserved better! Your grandparents, they would have loved you, they would have raised you right, but Lionel threatened them as well… If I told you anything about them, they would get into a tragic accident, just like your mother had…”

“I-I have grandparents?” Lena asked brokenly, not being able to hold back a sob; tears trailing down her cheeks.

Lillian closed her eyes, not being able to watch Lena cry, “Not– not anymore…” she whispered. “They passed away a couple of years after you came to live with us. Lionel made sure they thought you had died in the accident with your mom…”

It was really hard for Lena to breathe, and she felt the urge to press the button on her watch to have Lillian taken away from her, but she knew she couldn’t do that; she couldn’t put their entire plan in jeopardy.

“Y-You and L-Lionel–” Lena gasped, trying to reign in her breathing. “You are monsters…”

Lillian’s hands balled into fists, but she wasn’t angry at Lena, she was angry at the fact Lionel had played their daughter so well; that he was dead, and nobody knew how awful he had been except for Lillian. “Lena, you have every right to be angry, I should have stood up to him, but I was afraid, and I did everything I could to keep you and Lex safe. I knew that if you and I got close, he would do something to hurt either you or me… Please, I did the best I could under the worst circumstances…please, don’t put me in the same category as him.”

Lena downed the whiskey in her glass, hoping it would make her hands stop shaking.

Reluctantly, Lena nodded, “All right…” she said, fixing Lillian with a withering look. “But you still haven’t answered me. When did you developed these…feelings for me?”

Lillian looked away again, hands flexing on the armchair; at least she seemed as uncomfortable about it as Lena did. “After you double-crossed me with the Medusa virus.” Lillian’s words were said between gritted teeth, as if she didn’t want to admit to feeling the way she did. “E-Every day that passes you look more and more like Alana… and that night…that night I saw you’re just as good as she was.” With a weary smile, but still refusing to meet Lena’s eyes, Lillian added, “I messed up a lot, Lena, but that night…you proved to me I had done something right, because if you still have anything from Alana; if you still have any goodness inside you, I must have done something right.”

“And then you decided to fall in love with me.” Lena swallowed hard. Her head was swimming with the amount of information she had been exposed to in the last twenty minutes, and the amount of alcohol she had drunk in the same time span.

It was all out.

Lena said all the words.

No dancing around it now.

“I didn’t decide to, I don’t want to feel this way, and I was never going to tell you.” Lillian whispered, looking only at her own skirt. “And I would never try to act upon it, I know this is wrong.” she tried to reassure her daughter.

“Like you know mass-genocide of living beings is wrong?” Lena scoffed.

“I’m trying to protect our planet!” Lillian snapped. “Our planet is dying, for crying out loud, Lena! We barely have enough for our own people, do you really think Earth has enough to sustain more beings living here?? And you’ve seen they can be dangerous! We just stopped an invasion, Lena!”

Lena shook her head, trying to remind herself that she was supposed to be playing her mother.

Getting up, Lena walked around her desk, coming to a stop right before Lillian; leaning against her desk, arms crossed over chest, fingers digging into her arms. “It’s going to take some time, but I want to forgive you for everything you’ve put me through when I was a child.” She started, hoping to god she sounded honest. “Now I understand what led you to act the way you did…and I’m not sure I could have done anything differently if I had been in your shoes.”

The hopeful smile that spread on Lillian’s lips only made Lena’s heart ache more; part of her still desperately wanted to please the woman in front of her, and that smile… it was so rare, that Lena couldn’t help but want to keep it in place.

“But I can’t forgive you being a part of CADMUS, Lillian–”

“Lena, please…” Lillian ached to hear Lena calling her ‘mother’ again; she could suppress all these weird, unwanted feelings…she could bottle them up and take them to her grave, but she needed Lena to call her ‘mother’ again.

And somehow, Lena knew all that. She could see it in Lillian’s clear blue eyes; she could see it hurt her every time Lena called her by her name. Seizing the opportunity, Lena knelt in front of Lillian, and tentatively took her hands. “Give up CADMUS, strike a deal with the FBI and the DEO, tell them where to find Lex’s warehouses, and we can start over.”

Lillian swallowed hard; Lena’s eyes–Alana’s eyes–stole her breath away. “Lena–” Lillian began to protest, she had a mission, she needed to see it through, Lena knew that; but god, it was so tempting to give it all up for this opportunity.

Lena straightened up, one hand coming up to cup the back of Lillian’s neck, gently pulling her down so they could rest their foreheads together. “P-Please…mom…” Lena breathed out with her eyes closed; and she didn’t know if she was simply playing a part anymore. “Please… I know you love me… a-and…” Lena’s heart was threatening to break her chest, and her brain was close to short-circuiting. “A-And I want to love you too. But I can’t… not while you’re involved with all that. Please, mom–” Lena begged again, giving Lillian eskimo kisses; something that only served to charge the air with electricity. “Please, I want you by my side. I want to be with you.”

It was Lillian’s turn to cry. She knew Lena didn’t mean the words like she wanted her to mean them; she knew Lena was appealing to those unwanted feelings, but who else did Lillian have left? Her precious boy would be in jail forever, it was past time she accepted that; but Lena was right there, begging her to be a part of her life, even after finding out she harbored these abhorrent feelings toward her own daughter.

And although she would never admit to anyone, Lillian was tired of fighting. She had fought Lionel her entire life, and after he passed away, she felt like she had to defend Lex from the world, from Superman and all aliens; but there Lena was, offering her a new chance, a new beginning.

Sighing, Lillian pressed a gentle kiss to Lena’s forehead. “I’ve always known you were the best of us.” She whispered, resting her forehead on her daughter’s again. “Call Supergirl, my darling girl. I’m done fighting.”

Lena sobbed hard, relief washing over her, and she couldn’t help but rest her head on her mother’s lap, letting Lillian pet her hair for a little while. “Whatever happens next, Lena, I’m proud of you.”

With that, Lena reluctantly pressed the button on her watch, and not even a minute later Supergirl was standing behind them, with the Alpha team storming the office.

Supergirl gently placed a hand on Lena’s shoulder, silently asking her to stand up, to let Lillian go. It hurt, it hurt more than Lena could ever have guessed, but she gave Lillian a kiss on the cheek, and stood up, letting Supergirl wrap her arms protectively around her as the police officers cuffed Lillian, and read her rights as they took her away.


End file.
